Fantastic Creatures’ Travelogue – Chapter 21


February 7, 2017 9:43 am Published by 1 Comment

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Translator: QComp

Editor: Shiki


Chapter 21 Not even one normal creature

When Vivian suggested that she would cook, Hao Ren was quite surprised. After all, the girl was one hundred percent vampire. Let’s see how those legendary vampires in films and dramas lived: Dressed in red capes and black suits, and lived in castles of twenty thousand square meters, near the sea. 1 The Vampires had uncountable servants and enough jewelry to fill a warehouse. They slept a beauty sleep from 8:00am to 8:30pm and when they got up, they would drink a bottle of plasma prepared in 1982. 2  Then they would invite a roomful of guys and dance until midnight. Finally, they would hold a glass of wine on the balcony and howl at the moon. 3 This was a “normal” vampire’s life. Low-key, luxurious, and  connotated. 4

But apparently this poor vampire, Vivian, did not belong to that category. Not only did she not need blood to sustain life, she also could digest the shoddily boiled noodles made by Hao Ren, and she even knew how to cook with a gas stove… These findings were enough to surprise him.

It was not until the meal was served on the table by Vivian, that Hao Ren realized that his surprise came too early.

Vivian’s craft was really good, just that the ingredient combinations were quite puzzling. There were eggplant with garlic, beans with garlic, fans mixed with garlic. And although both the color, flavor, and “taste” were fantastic, the whole living room had a thick garlicky aroma. Hao Ren felt like he was like swimming in a sea of garlic, but the so-called vampire was sitting there normally at the table, grabbing a clove of garlic and eating it… Even ordinary people could not stand this way of eating garlic!

Hao Ren and Lily were stunned by Vivian’s behaviors. The two looked at her uniformly and asked in unison, “Are you really a vampire?”

Vivian’s expression immediately became serious and she sat up straight, “Please refer to my race as the Blood Tribe, this is a very serious issue…”

“Don’t be so hypocritical now, okay?” Hao Ren teasingly said, as he began to estimate in his mind how much of his worldview he needed to rebuild. “Aren’t the bloodsuc(kers)… Blood Tribe afraid of garlic? You’re just simply eating garlic!”

Vivian looked down at the food on the table, having suddenly realized what caused their befuddlement. “Oh, you’re talking about this. Indeed, ordinary vampires don’t really like garlic, and inferior Vampires may also be sick from the smell. I don’t know what’s wrong with me… Anyway, I am not afraid of it. During the most difficult time of life, even eating food consistently would be difficult. How could I afford to pay attention to the taste?”

Hao Ren staggered hearing this, and touched his nose, “I have always been curious about it, but how can you bloodsuc… Blood Tribe be so poor?”

“How can I know? Anyway, since I could remember things, my luck with wealth has never been good. When there was no currency, I would lose things. When the humans used shells as currency, I would lose shells. When metals, I lost coins. And now, I lose money. It was difficult to look for a job, difficult to do business. There was a time when I became determined to be a bad guy and tried to steal from a **(bitch maybe?), but I saw that she was poorer than me, so I gave her $6 instead…” Vivian spread her hands. Her facial expression was of having resigned to fate after thousands of years of unfortunate life.

But as if she suddenly remembered something, she revealed a proud look and began to search for something from her body. After a moment, she took out a pair of silver-shining armbands and said, “Actually, I still have something good. Look at this, I’m reluctant to exchange this for money even in my poorest time. These were found hundreds of years ago in a small Egyptian village, pure silver armbands, able to ward off the evil when worn on your arm…”

Hao Ren, ” … ”

Vivian then pulled out a cross, which hung from a small chain from her collar, “I got this near the Vatican. There was a time when I lived in Europe, my purse was stolen, I lost my job, and the place I lived caught on fire. I had no money or house to live in, so I had no choice but to go to the church as a janitor. I was hard-working and adept so the Father gave me this cross, which was said to be personally blessed by the Pope. It can ward off evil~~.”

“Then here is this, a piece of wood from a few years ago in Mount Wutai. An old priest gave it to me. Also said to be able to ward off evil!”

Hao Ren, “…”

“And this amulet. I got it from a group of Vikings several hundred years ago because I did them a small favour. This amulet was really effective, it can ward off evil when worn!”

“In short, I have summed up a pattern that, if I take money, I will lose it with no exception, ever since humans invented currency. But if I carry items with me, I won’t lose it… This must be a fault in the Will of the great Universe!”

Hao Ren quietly put his bowl down and pinched his thigh hard, to confirm that it was not a dream. He then stared at Vivian, “Let me repeat, are you really a vampire?!”

“How many times I have said that, I am not a vampire, instead you should refer to me as Blood… Well anyway, humans often confuse this but,” Vivian quite magnanimously waved her hands, “Why do you struggle with this?”

Hao Ren felt that his worldview had been totally torn apart as he looked at the various items hanging on the “vampire”. He felt that he was close to a heart attack.

“You want to ward off evil? 5 You, yourself are ‘evil’, okay?! How many vampires do you think these trinkets would kill!”

“I do not know how either,” Vivian argued righteously, “Anyway, I was born without fear of these things. They might be able to dispel my bad luck too! Even if they are not able to dispel bad luck, at least they can strengthen my courage.”

Lily quickly finished all the food in her bowl, like a dog. She raised her head and mumbled, “As a vampire, hanging a cross and an amulet to strengthen your courage, how shameful.”

This airhead was not at all surprised! Her point of view was really in agreement with her personality… Anyway, supper was finished in a weird atmosphere.

Hao Ren decided to adjust his impression of one of his abnormal tenants, Vivian. She was not only an unfortunate vampire, but also a vampire who was not afraid of garlic, silverware, the cross, or even any of the evil warding  instruments in the world. This eccentric creature even hung six ‘Jin’ 6 talismans on her, in the hopes of a chance to reverse her bad luck. (Comment from the Author)You listened to this quantifier! Jin! From this you could imagine how many trinkets this girl carried with her…

After the meal everyone had their own things to do, and this temporarily-combined “** Group” welcomed their “first peaceful day”, in a real sense. A human landlord, a softheaded werewolf, a nearly-poor-to-death vampire, and a black-and-white kitten called “Roll”. Hao Ren now felt that it was a miracle that these tenants to be grouped in a single house.

Now Lily was squatting on the living room floor watching TV. (Author)Yes, what you read was right, she WAS squatting on the floor like a puppy and beside her was “Roll”, also squatting. The two looked like siblings. It seemed that the soft-headed werewolf was finally a little accustomed to the cat, even though she seemed a bit shaky: Like if “Roll” made the slightest movement, she would respectfully shift the channel of the TV. At least she didn’t hide behind the sofa, like yesterday.

As for Vivian, she went for a walk in high spirits. As a nocturnal creature, Vivian’s biological clock became active after sunset and she decided to fly to the urban, hoping to find a job… Hao Ren was a little aware of why this vampire was so poor and could not find a job. Why the hell couldn’t she shift her biological clock? Who had she heard of that could find a job at midnight? Was there a pit in her head?

After Vivian turned into a giant bat and flew into the night, Hao Ren carried his recliner outside. Here, it was sparsely populated, which resulted in an unusually quiet environment. There was a large piece of open land in front of the small apartment, and as no one had developed it so far, Hao Ren thought that, by default, it was his “territory”. It had become habitual for him to come here and let the wind blow his face while considering his life experiences. The environment here was much more healthier than the cold air from the AC in the room.

Of course, the most important reason was that he really didn’t want to be alone with Lily for too long, for fear of losing intellect…The soft-headed werewolf was looking at dog food ads! Dare you believe it? Hao Ren believed that even if he hid in his bedroom, one wall away from her, he would still be “robbed” of one third of his intellect!

The summer nights of the northern cities were far cooler than those in the south. Hao Ren lay where he usually enjoyed the cool climate, and listened to the distant, vague mixed voices of insects.  He gradually accrued a sense of weariness.

Half awake, half dreaming, he felt a slight unusual burst of breeze blow over his cheek.

This breeze was fresh and cool, without the rough presence brought by human activities in modern cities. This wind made Hao Ren fully alert from his sleepy state, and he suddenly sat up. The recliner then directly folded on him.

  1. Here the author used a tone like that used in ads for selling houses, and in some sense this whole paragraph was just talking nonsense, from which the author implied that none of the creatures’ characteristic was identical to their stereotype in this novel.
  2. Here it was compared to red wines.
  3. ED/TL: Werewolf? ED:Mythology Pls.
  4. “低调奢华有内涵”: This is a Chinese buzzword, describing the literate young’s fashioned life style.
  5. Here it referred to the ‘evil’ luck.
  6. ”Jin”: the Chinese name for the catty, a traditional East Asian unit of weight.
  • Taverius

    Thanks for the (garlicky) meal!